A Method of Connection

As I am sure people who know me are tired of hearing me say, I read mostly non-fiction, and am always prepared with a bit of hodgepodge, partially-recalled information. But my attempts at remembering the things I have read have mostly been for naught. For example, yesterday I found a copy of Foucault's Pendulum and while I do remember purchasing the book, I have no memory of reading it. But until very recently, I have never been the kind to buy books and not read them. And if it is a rare book that I read partially and do not enjoy, I am generally very good about giving it away in a local Little Free Library.

Somewhere along the path of my life, I have erased the memory of reading Foucault's Pendulum, and I have to wonder what other connections in my own mind have been erased. I am missing what feels like an important connection to past me. We know this about our brains. Memory does not work the way it does in the Benedict Cumberbatch version of Sherlock Holmes. We do not have "memory palaces" from which we can call up any piece of information. At best, we have a few bullet pointed notes taken during the lecture of our life's events and at worst, a hastily scribbled note in the margin of a tourist pamphlet we found on the ground of our childhood.

So how do we reconnect with our past self? Is it worth doing? We get so incensed when politicians change their minds when really what they are doing is just...being human. I know that I am a much different person than I was 20 years ago and did not have the same nuanced political views as I do today. Heck, even five years ago, I looked at things a lot differently. Pre-pandemic me didn't play nearly as many videogames. She ran a knitting group, worked at a yarn shop, and taught classes about fibercrafting. Fifteen years ago I didn't give a toss about public transit or bike infrastructure, and she certainly wasn't as anti-consumerist as I am now. Pretty sure, anyway. But maybe it's worth examining why I was the way I was back then. The only way I can conceive of to do that is to go back and read things I wrote. I have never been ritualistic about keeping a journal, but I have occasionally. Historically speaking, diaries and journals are one of the best primary sources we have for knowing the true human impacts of events. 

So for today, my action item is to go dig up my last daily journal and give it a read. Then, I'll sit it next to my bed with a pen in the hopes I'll actually start writing in it again. Couldn't hurt to start creating a connection today to the future me that will want to know about present me's day.